How To Change A Man

My husband and I married in November. We are pregnant with our first child due in July.

You are pregnant honey, he just knocked you up.

We have had problems throughout our relationship with his inability to grow up.

Which you apparently decided to ignore, hoping for what? That he would...(gasp) change?!

We are both 33 and met 2 years ago. After 3 weeks he moved in. During it all, I have been the one to pick up the pieces and "fix" his life for him.

Bored women who go out looking for love often come home with projects.

He is finacially a mess, his family is the worst support system you can find and I am basically so tired of dealing with him that the love I thought I had for him is gone. Or at least burried so deeply I can not find it.

Acting like a mommy to some looser rarely generates feelings of lust.

When he was 24, he got drunk and drove, killing a woman. He received 16 years in prison and served 8. He got out about 6 months before I met him and though I was very sceptical, he swore that he learned his lesson and would not mess up his life again.

Unfortunately you didn't learn yours: staying the fuck away from addicts, violent creeps, married men and jailbirds.

Well - here we are 2 years later and just last weekend he went on a 36 hour drinking binge and passed out smelling like a piece of garbage in the middle of the living room floor.

The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior.

Now, I am a financial analyst making about 80 thou a year. I own the house, all of the furniture, I pay for all maintenance, etc. I paid for the wedding and honeymoon and he pays me 800 a month. We are in therapy but nothing that she tells him to do to try to regain my trust works for long. He does it for a few days and then when the pressure is off, he reverts right back to where he was before.

Because people don't change unless they want to.

In fact, we are in therapy because 3 weeks before the wedding, he tracked down an ex girfriend from pre- prison days and carried on conversations with her. I found out, kicked him out, we started therapy and went ahead and married. I'll be honest, I thought it was a bad idea. However, when I found out I was pregnant 4 days before the wedding, I thought that this news would be what would get him in gear.

Naw. You're just another fool who thought Aisle-Altar-Hymn means I'll Alter Him.

He grew up with an father that was not the best and always swore he would shape up and be the ideal father and husband.

STOP saying "he swore this and he swore that". Do you have any idea how inane it makes you sound?

Now, we have been married a month and I am ready for a divorce. I can totally be on my own and give my child a stable, calm life without worrying about his drama.

But? (Everytime they say something sane there is always a "but" attached to it.)

I told him last night and he is very hurt and angry and kept saying "only a month".

Damn right he is angry. He can hardly lay claim to 50% of your posessions and your pension if he's only been married to you for a month.

I need guidance. Can anyone help me?

Call your local laywer. He'll be more than happy to get your head out of your ass.