Horse & Carriage

I am twenty years old and have been married for one year and 2 months.

Haven't you ever wondered why there is a law that says you can't drink unless you are 21...but any teenaged snot can get married and/or have kids?

My husband is currently out of the country, he is visiting his girlfriend, in europe. I know about this girlfriend, i talk to her on the phone, she even stayed with us for six weeks, last year, we got married at city hall while she was visiting.

A girlfriend. One that you knew about before you got married and obviously approved. So what's the problem?

She doesnt know we are married.

Huh? Didn't you just state you guys got hitched while she was staying over your place? What did you guys do, sneak off to city hall for an hour while she was visiting the museums?

Even his friends dont know we are married. I feel like things are backwards. like i am the woman he tries to hide.

Because he's already married?

Why did i marry him? Cause i am madly in love with him.

What I want to know is why did he marry YOU?

He told me he loved me, he said many things. A year later i find out that if it came down to it, he would chose her over me. Knowing this, i still stay with him. i feel like i screwed up big time.

Don't be so hard on yourself sweety. Brain damage, especially of the severe kind such as yours, cannot possibly be your fault... unless you've spent your formative years banging your head on a wall regularly.

I am the one who shares his bank account, who shares his bed, who puts up with him, who takes care of him. His friends are finally starting to figure out what is going on between us, and they wonder how i can put up with it, calling me a strong person.

I don't know how to break this to you, my dear child, but I'm afraid what they are really saying is "Lucky bastard! Why can't we find a stupid cunt like that?"

I sometimes feel like im his mistress, and hes trying to lie to about our marriage. its not supposed to be like this right?

Well if you must ask...

Im beginning to wonder what my purpose is. i dont know if he just keeps me around so he wont be lonely, and so he knows their will always be someone to sleep with.

Maybe. But he didn't have to marry you for that now, did he... So tell me. Did the guy have a green card before you two met?

Im his wife i deserve respect, dont i?

Tut tut..."respect", where did you ever hear a grown up word like that?

I want to be happy, and these days hes been gone, i have realized that maybe i have convinced myself to be happy. i would do anything for this man. he goes out with his friends, and drinks, i dont complain. when he comes in stumbling drunk, and puking, i take care of him, and do so much for him. but he just doesnt love me, i dont think he ever did. but i cant stop loving him, i have tried so hard.

Are those violins that I'm hearing?...

i dont want to be divorced at the age of 20. i meant what i said, i meant my wedding vows.

Yes, I'm sure you did, you sad twit. Did you also understand what they mean?

i do miss the fact that i did not have a wedding, but every time i think i want to leave, he does something or says something that changes my mind, i just cant leave him, i physically cant.

What? You have spinal injury too?!

Hes been gone for 15 days, and is coming back in 4 days, and i tried to pack up and leave, and every time i started, i broke down crying, and couldnt do it. i would look at our bed, and remember the times we had there. i cant even sleep at night, cause hes not with me. but, hes overseas sleeping just fine. its not fair, it really isnt.

It's not fair either, that I have to live with those overwelming urges to bitch-slap you for being the most insipid little whiner on the face of the earth. But that's life.

i talked to him last nite, and i said something along the lines of, "you havent seen me in 15 days" and he responded, " i know, thank GOD, i havent had to see you" so i told him if thats what he wanted, i could be gone before he got back, and he said he didnt want me to go.

Of course not. He has to get his green card first.

What is wrong with me?

Too much oxygen.