She´s Pushing Him

Things with my boyfriend of 1 year 8 months have been going pretty good lately...

Are you sure?

We have seen a counsellor once and have another appointment in the next couple of weeks, to help us communicate better ( extremely different personality styles ).

It´s easier to find a shoe that fits, than make the wrong one fit.

I live on my own in an apartment, and he lives with his Mom. (Is that so?) He is a CA student ( Chartered Accountant ) and will be done (finally!) this upcoming October ( our two year anniversary! ).

Awwwww.

He has been talking about moving out on his own into an apartment ( he has lived on his own before, but has moved back home a few times ).

I wonder why.

I asked him when he thinks he would want to live with me, and he said he didn't know, and that he wasn't ready.

True. The only thing he sounds ready for is to finally grow up.

I told him I just want to know when he thinks this would happen- and he then started to get angry ( after awhile I wouldn't give up and kept asking ) (...because you got insecure) and told me to stop "pressuring and pushing" and to "leave it alone" and "let things be, let them happen".

That doesn´t sound very good. While many guys get uncomfortable when The Subject comes up, a normal mature guy should be able to give you a clear answer (ie. I can see us getting married in 5 years/I don´t see myself getting married at all.) Getting angry, being wishy/washy about it is uncool and it implies that he does know, but doesn´t want to tell you so that you won´t leave him.

But you are not being ok, either. You should know better than to keep asking him. If he doesn´t know and doesn´t want to give a time frame, it´s up to you to decide if you´re ok with this, or you want to move on to a guy who does know what he wants and when he wants it.

And he said he refuses to jump into anything like marriage and moving in with me. The thing is, is that he used to mention this stuff before, in the beginning.

That was to get you in bed.

Now our "future talks" always end up in fights because I get upset (insecure) and he gets angry. I told him I am not ready either, that I am still young ( turning 23 in a month, he's turning 28 in two months ) but I just want to put my mind at ease and know that there is a future with him.

You want to make sure that your investment will pay off.

I know I tend to overanalyze, but do I leave this alone? We hung up the phone last night on each other on bad terms, I asked him how am I supposed to know that he won't jerk me around, and that he really wants this stuff with me- he says he doesn't know ( he was mad ).

I want you to read this quote carefully and decide which kind of a woman you are:

"Women have been taught that in order to have a place in the world, an identity, they must marry and have children. If that's the life you truly want, great.

But for many women, marriage is only about needing the world to know that someone desires them enough to say, "Here's a contract to prove that I love you and will commit to you for the rest of my life."

For these women, no contract equals no validation - and, thus, no reason for existing." - Salma Hayek