Ask Google 3

pussy free wife

Q: I got married about a week ago. I was asked to wait until our wedding night and I was really looking forward to the action. So there I was laying in bed, in a beautiful 5 star hotel in Vegas, drinking out of a really lousy bottle of champange, when my wife finally came out of the bathroom, still fully dressed, sat on my bedside and said:

"Honey, there is something I haven't told you about me."

"What?" Silence. "Let me guess, you're not a virgin."

She shook her head.

"So what is it?"

Sobs. I hugged her. "It's ok honey, tell me, whatever it is, it's ok, I LOVE YOU."

"I..." More sobs, then really fast. "Idonthaveavagina."

"Huh? Can you say that again? It sounded like "I don't have a vagina!"

"It's true". More sniffs. "I don't."

It's been a week now we'll be flying back tomorrow and I'm still stunned. I really love her and want to make this work but how?

Signed,

Freaked


A: Dear Freaked,

while it is a tad unusual for a woman to be born without a cootch, I am surprised that you would feel all is lost. There are worst fates than a lifetime of chocolate-covered love and hummers.


pervert behavior

I was typing an e-mail on my 46-year-old boyfriend's computer, when I noticed that he was still logged on Ebay. I clicked on his bids, curious to see if he was finally going to get me the engagement ring he had been promising for the past 15 years, for my upcoming birthday.

Well, there was one 5 buck BIN for a silver bracelet made in China, and a 200$ bid for some teenager's pink "Very Well Worn/Used Sneakers Size 6 1/2"!!

It can't be for me, cause my feet are size 8 and he doesn't have a daughter. Is this pervert behavior?