Boyfriend Brags With Money
This isn't anything major, just a little gripe I'm having and wanted to air it to you and get some perspective. My bf and I have been together a year, and living together for the last six months. He's 9 years older than I and has been married once before. Since we met and fell in love, my life has felt totally blessed. [snip a long paragraph of nauseating tripe]
In other words, our relationship is absolutely perfect!
But?
Just one little gripe:
Nothing personal, but I get a little tense when I read this. Usually it turns out to be a gripe the size of Texas.
Sometimes it'll come out through conversation things from his past. Like, "oh so-and-so and i went on this fab vacation to Hawaii together", or we'll be passing by an upscale boutique in NYC and he'll casually mention he bought an ex a pocketbook from that store. Or one time I was looking at a magazine and an ad for expensive watches was on the page, and he said how he once bought an ex a watch like that. I love to cook and bake, and one time he mentioned on how he and an ex used to go to fabulous plays and restaurants in NYC.
Ok. So either he´s insecure, or he never learned that it´s extremely bad manners to talk about all the great stuff you´ve done for your exes.
Just tell him:
"Thanks for sharing, but that´s too much information for this current girlfriend."
or my personal favorite:
"Tell that sh1t to someone who gives a f@ck, a$$hole!"
Now I DO NOT want to sound like a materialistic little golddigger. (Huh?) I have a fantastic job and a great career and can take care of myself, and I have everything I could possibly need and want (except good weather, it's cold and cloudy) and I DO NOT need a man to buy me things.
So what´s the problem?
But I feel a little left out because he has bought his exes these fabulous presents and taken them on exotic vacations and dined in amazing restaurants, and well, he hasn't done that with me.
Like most women you´ve quickly deduced:
Guy spending money on a woman = TRUE LOVE =>
=>Why isn´t he doing that for me?
It's not that I feel I'm not good enough, but I feel a little short-changed.
Come on. Admit it.
All this talk (which could be just that, talk) is making you feel like you´re not good enough.
There's no real way I can explain my feelings, but I do feel left out. I've had the wonderful privilege of having traveled and eaten at fine restaurants as well, but never with a boyfriend.
And the funny part about it is, you probably wouldn´t missed it either, if he hadn´t opened his big mouth.
So at the risk of sounding petty, how can I explain my feelings?
You don´t. For whatever reasons, you never prioritized having a guy who wines and dines you. That´s quite fine. Now you have a bee in your bonnet about it. That´s not his problem.
I tried to let him know how I was feeling, but he got annoyed and said I was making him feel bad. He also said I should be focusing on the more important things (which I totally agree with) and not the petty ones.
Well, tell him.
"I would have never gotten these ideas if you wouldn´t talk all the time, about all the money you´ve spent on previous pu$$y."
Then if he´s really that great, he´ll get the message and keep his mouth shut in the future. As for you, get over it.
1 Comments:
Sage advice. LOL!
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