But One Can Wait Too Long

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 6 years, and have been living together for about 5. When we first got together, everything moved so fast.

Contrary to popular opinion, moving fast does not mean you´ve found Mr. Right.

We were big into the party scene, and are both emotional people, so at times our relationship has been turbulent.

Scenes of plates smashing, tears of jealousy and drunken make-ups flash through my mind...

I feel that I have gotten to a point in the relationship that I am no longer committed. I have been waiting very patiently for a ring to no avail.

Patience is not always a virtue.

He is a former drug addict, and is still very secretive with me.

If he´s still secretive with you, he might be clean, but he´s not in recovery.

There is no trust between us - I usually feel like I can't believe anything that he tells me. This is the root cause of most of our arguments lately. I sometimes think that if we could get past that we would be OK.

After 6 years do you really believe that you can get this man to change? You sound like you could use a few sessions of Co-Dependents Anonymous yourself.

My problem is that I don't have enough money to move out right away. I need to save enough for a security deposit. How should I go about telling him that I am ready to move on?

If you think he´d go along with you staying for a few more months until you can move out, you just tell him, as unemotionally as possible. Just be prepared for the very real possibility of him turning psycho on you and make sure you can crash in by somebody if you have to.

I also am leaving the company that I have been with for 5 years in a little over 2 weeks. Should I wait until I am settled in my new job before attempting to break up? Or is now a good a time as any???

Any time you have another place is a good time. Just don´t wait another 6 years for it.

I am so confused. I really hate men right now :-) Don't we all though??

No we don´t.