The Accidental Other Woman

I met my MM (your m'n'm?) on New Years almost 2 years ago, when he threw a party at his house. Hence, I have also met his wife, who was kind and welcomed me into their homes.

Is that how you repay another woman's generosity, by fucking her husband?

He fell in love (lust) with me as soon as we met. I was smitten by his personality (gorgeous body) and hung out occasionally (5 times a week). I was totally oblivious to the love (lust) he felt for me. (ie. I knew he had the hots for me and I cock-teased him in every imaginable way.)

About two weeks ago, he dropped in for a business trip and we got ourselves really drunk. Somewhere in the midst of our alcohol induced babbling, we started making out. I don’t really know how it happened but it did.

The alcohol made us do it! (Not it didn't.)

He left the next day and we kept in touch via emails from our mobile. He called me every day. I was falling in love but was also determined to hold tight to my morals.

What morals?

Coming from a broken family (parents separated when I was four), I know all about the stigma attached to a woman who breaks up someone’s marriage and the immense amount of pain the children will go through.

So I promised myself that when I would grow up, I'd go and break another woman's home so that I can get back at the world.

One week after he left, he returned to visit me for four days. One the first night, we went out and got really drunk. (Again?) I ended up at his place, feeling terribly sick. I stripped down in the bathroom and proceeded to vomit into the toilet till I was near unconscious. (So when are you going to do something about your drinking problem?) He got worried about me and barged into the bathroom, threw me into the shower and got me clean. After that we both passed out on different beds.

Ugh.

Somehow in the middle of the night, we ended up in the same bed and made passionate love (fucked like the dawgs we are.) The next few days were wonderland for the both of us. We were in our own little world. We were in denial, he was reckless.

Lust has that effect on people.

I wrote a letter to him after he left. I wanted him to try and work out his marital problems. I told him that if he chose to get a divorce, it cannot be because of me.

You just wrote that letter to ease your conscience.

There are his three young children to consider, my family, cultural divide (he’s English, I’m Chinese), age gap (he’s 37, I’m 25), etc. An affair is just the wrong way to start a relationship; it would lead to problems in the future. I wouldn’t be able to live with the scrutiny from the people around us, and worst of all, hatred from his children.

Oh please, do you have any idea how hypocritical you sound from here? If you really thought that adultery was wrong, you would have never, ever been part of it, or given yourself an excuse to be part of it.

But it was not to be. 3 days after he left, his wife goes through his phone and sees our conversations. All hell breaks loose. She even throws up. (Can you blame her?)

She finds out it’s me and she said that she knew he liked me the day we met. (A woman should always listen to her intuition.)

I am overwhelmed with guilt, shame, confusion, frustration, helplessness, anger, self hate, worry, fear. I want to curl up and die. I want to dig a hole, bury myself in it and disappear from this world forever. I am also angry at him for not being more careful with the messages. I did ask him specifically to delete my mails as soon as he reads them.

You certainly didn't feel any shame when you uncrossed your legs for him (not just once either) and come on, admit it, you don't truly regret what you've done at all, you're just ashamed because your dirty deed came out in the open.

His wife is leaving him with the kids today (back to the in-laws) so that he can think things through. He told me to forget them. He wants me to tell him if this relationship is something I want to continue. I can’t forget his situation because it is going to affect us!

All I wanted was to get drunk and fuck a little, I didn't intend to become stepmom to 3 little brats!

I am in love with him but I don’t want to be the one to break up his marriage. I think he owes it to his wife to try to work things out. I did tell him that. I told him the only way to save his marriage is to stop seeing me.

I made feeble attempts to keep him away, but I secretly hope he won't listen to me.

He loves me, he loves my boob job, he loves my messed up mind, and he doesn’t mind my bulimia.

You're right, he does love your boob job and I'm sure you're an addictive ego-booster. But he doesn't care about your fucked up personality one bit, trust me.

I love him and I do want to continue, but I don't want to break up his marriage! Things just spiraled out of control in such a short time. I can’t breathe. My conscience is suffocating me. What can I do what should I do? What should I tell him? How can I not lose him? How can I live with myself?

Easy, send him back to the wife. After a little while you will get weak and you'll start the drunken hook-ups again. With a little luck she'll catch him and this time instead of going away to let him "think it over" she'll take him to the cleaners and fed-ex his sorry remains to you. Then you can play act own sick little version of Woody Allen and Soon-Yi for ever after.

There is another alternative of course, but you don't have the decency or the courage for it.