Friends With Benefits
I am in a friends-with-benefits situation with a guy. When we first started seeing each other I was really falling for him but then after a couple months he let me know he didn't have time for a full time committed relationship.
Translation: Sorry gal, you have a nice rack & all, but so do many other girls. Nice screwing ya.
I was very disappointed. So I agreed to a FWB because I could still be with him.
That was stupid.
When we started the FWB I thought I was ok but now I still have feelings for him.
Huh? Did you really think, hey I'm in love with you, lets get it on a few times maybe it will go away?!
I got really emotional a few days ago and he told me that he is not seeing anyone else at this stage but still doesn't want a relationship. He likes his space and being alone.
Kinda makes you wonder how many other silly twits is he saying this to, doesn't it...
I just found out today that he and my neighbor went out for drinks last night. She is the one who mentioned it to me. She knows that he and I have been intimate and that I had strong feelings for him and that he wanted a FWB but I told her honestly that I didn't know if I could do it. She doesn't know that I went ahead with the FWB.
What, too chickin to admit you sold yourself short after all?
He however has not mentioned going for drinks with her.
Why should he? He doesn't owe you that. Now if he was porking her after you guys had agreed on being physically exclusive that would have been a different story.
He called me last night and asked me out for a drink but I was going to a show and couldn't. I told him I would call from the show and when I did he said he wasn't having the drink, he was in the store with his daughter. But it seemed like he wanted me off the phone.
No shit lady. If I were sitting next to some hottie in a bar, I'd want to get your delusional ass off my phone too.
I know he has the right to see whoever he wants but this is so hard because it involves my neighbor who lives by me. It is right in my face.
Yeah, it makes it harder to stay in that insipid little fantasy of yours. Not necessarily a bad thing.
And he just told me he wasn't seeing anyone, but he is. I don't know how to deal with this. If I stop sleeping with him, I'm afraid he will sleep with her.
Oh my God
I don't know what to say to him. I feel so horrible right now. Oh, and he also lives in this same development.
Some people like to keep it in the family.
posted by (Not) Dear Abby @ 3/11/2006
8 comments
8 Comments:
I was once in a FWB situation. I was madly deeply in love with the guy. I still am. Suprisingly, when I met the man who eventually became my husband and the "benefits" ended, he and I still had an amazing friendship. And since I'm married now, I was less than homicidally jealous of his first serious girlfriend.
Guess I was one of the lucky ones.
Well, if you have that kind of luck maybe you should try playing the Lotto more often.
My ex proposed FWB too but I just couldnt take it. There are many fish in the sea and even though I was into him, I couldnt see what benefits I'd have gotten.
Yes true cause in this world there are many kind of men. this kinds you'll find evrywhere.. good ones hard to find. Wise thing is not to give them too much preference.. or get too much devoted to them.. that will destroy u and him both.
(I'm a 100% man and not gay) ;-)
Boy, I think you may have gotten into my email and read emails friends have sent to me. The funny thing is, the guy pretty much has to destroy them before they let go once they get this point.
I always say, when you break up, break up. As in, stay apart. If they are around and you still care, you will not get over them. Add in sex...
I'm confused.
How did that letter go from friends (with benefits) to still sleeping with him???
FWB = Friends With Bodily-contact then?
I guess that must be the new politically correct way of selling yourself short.
Love has to be reciprocated or it's worthless. It's the difference between living and existing.
FWB=Lust, NOT Love
Sometimes we're afraid to let go of a bad thing because we're more afraid of the unknown.
Take a deep breath and hold your head up high, look him right in the eyes and tell him, "Sorry, I need love not lust," and move forward and find someone who can love you for who you really are!
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