Am I Just Sloppy Seconds?

I met this man in 1999. At the time I was 23 and he was 40.

I have a theory about why certain older men get involved with young women...

Through the course of our relationship he has dated other women but whenever he would meet someone he was really interested in he would tell me that we needed to start seeing other people and who knows down the line.

...because they´re more likely to put up with their crap!

Wheneever his relationship with the other woman ended he would either contact me or I would contact him (I never stopped staying in touch with him) and we would resume our relationship.

And of course you always used condoms and checked for STD´s regularly, right?...Right?

2 years ago he met this woman and he told me that he couldn't see me anymore because he wanted this relationship with this woman to work. He never told me he was in love with me and we never talked about me moving in with him yet this woman moved in a few weeks after meeting him.

Um, because you´re just a fack-buddy and she was True Love TM?

So about 4 months ago he broke up with this woman and I starting seeing him again.

I have to wonder what you do, what life you lead while you wait for him to break up with his girlfriends.

And here's the problem. He seemed absolutely devastated about this breakup with this woman. I have been sleeping at his house several times a week but I keep no clothes or anything there except for an alarm clock so I can get up for work.

A call-girl couldn´t get more practical than that.

Meantime he has told me it is over with this woman but he has several pictures, big pictures of her all over his office.

Sigh.

I know he has been talking to her because his friend told me and once I heard him on the phone with her and he was really nice and stayed on the phone for over and hour and a half!!! He had told her that I was staying at the house sometimes but we were just hanging out and that if they were to start dating again or got back together I would be gone, out of the house. Needless to say I was very upset.

Why? You mean to tell me that you didn´t know you were just sex for him the whole time? Are you really that stupid? Just curious.

I am the one sleeping with him several times a week not her so doesn't that mean he wants to be with me instead of her?

No. Not necessarily.

He had told me that their relationship was the most intense in his life even more than his marriage. What does that mean?

It frightens me, that you are 29 years old and you still need to have it spelled out to you.

Also the night before he had gone to the movies with her I couldn't understand why he insisted on the house being all cleaned up and now I know, he brought her over there.

And of course you cleaned it up for him.

Do I have anything to worry about? Does he still have feelings for her and does it look like he wants to find a way for them to work things out and get back together or just to be friends? Is he using me just someone to keep him company because he doesn't want to be alone?

Uh...Duh!!!!!!!!!!

It just seems like instead of moving on from her he continues to hold on yet he says he wants to be friends. I don't think I believe that. Please help me.

You are beyond help honey.