Brotherly Love

I just want to know if I am being to jealous, insecure, or just down right insane.

Or all three.

So I went away to Lake Tahoe with my boyfriend, his sister and my cousin. I had a GREAT time

...for about 5 minutes.

- except something that was a little weird going on.

Oh?

During our 16 hour drive to Lake Tahoe, I noticed that my boyfriend and his sister were talking more with each other than either of them talked to me or my cousin. So my boyfriend and his sister are close - I have always known this. To a degree, yes, I have always been a little jealous over it because I want that with him.

Yes, many other girls have a thing for unattainble or emotionally unavailable men. They can't all be obtuse can they? Maybe some are just mentally deranged.

So later on that night, we all get ready to go out. I am dressed semi-okay - just like all of us were. So my boyfriend comes up to his sister and says "WOW - YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL!" I was sitting right there and he looks at me and says "WHAT, ARE YOU MAD I DIDN'T SAY IT TO YOU?!?"

Well, he does seem to have all the earmarks of a true moron. Yup, I'd say you two deserve each other.

I didn't know what to do so I just said "I could care less!"

Oh you lame duck you!...Here have some bread.

I mean he made that comment in front of everyone and I surely didn't want to start an argument or show my feelings were hurt.

He was counting on exactly that.

So as my boyfriend helped me through the snow to the car, he asked if I was mad and I said "no, I am hurt, and you know why!" He did know why.

No he didn't. He fell silent because he was busy trying to navigate your answer through the air between his ears.

We got to the casino and he pulled me aside and asked me again what was up.

So you coldly said:

"If you ask me that a third time, I'm going to kick you right between your legs."

All I said was "you know why!" (Cause I'm a nice passive-agressive chick and I don't say things like that.)

He totally apologized and said he felt super bad about it.

No he didn't. People who say things like that are either out to fuck with your mind and know exactly the effect of what they're saying or they are too inane to learn how to be considerate.

So the night was fun - we got back to the cabin - went to sleep. The next morning his sister and I made a deal where she cooks breakfast while I do the dishes from the day before that we left out. So I cleaned and she cooked my boyfriend breakfast. He was sooooooo appreciative - gave her a hug - kept thanking her over and over. She handed him a napkin and he thanked her two times - and very heartfelt thank yous. OVER A NAPKIN! Everything she said or did - he laughed - LOUDLY! Kinda like you do when you first are falling for someone. He almost seemed to be flirting with her - and she almost seemed to be flirting back.

Ok, ok. I get the drift....ugh.

My cousin even picked up on it. She pulled aside and asked if I was okay and I told her I really wasn't and she said "let me guess why...it is because your boyfriend treats his sister like his girlfriend and you like his sister?" And that was it - she hit the nail on the head!

So what are you going to do about it?

So my boyfriend and my cousin left not too long after that to go snowboarding. Of course my boyfriend didn't say bye to me - only his sister (but I was heading upstairs to the bathroom to cry because I was just feeling real low).

Wah, fuckin wah.

So my boyfriend and cousin get back from snowboarding - he comes and sits down by his sister and puts his head on her shoulder and she props his feet up on her.

How sweet.

After we all decided to go to bed he asked me what was wrong. So I told him. He came back with "you are just jealous!" Well heck yeah I am, I want my boyfriend to tell me I look beautiful, I want my boyfriend to appreciate me giving him a napkin or me cooking for him, I want my boyfriend to laugh at stupid things I say - I want that bond that he has with her - which I should be having.

Out of curiosity: If a vending machine were out of Mars bars, would you still sit there 4 hours later and whine about it? (Probably.)

All he could admit was that he rarely complimented me and he should do it more often.

That might be an acceptable excuse from dork who truly doesn't know the ways of the polite world, but this guy knows...and you know he does.

I said "it sucks because she will always be the number one female in your life!" and he got so
mad, turned over and sat there for a while and then said how messed up that was for me to say.

The old "It ain't me, it's you."

But you know what, I mean it. I told him that too.

There might be hope for you yet.

Am I out of line for feeling the way I do?

Ok, strike off the above. If you must ask you're hopeless.

I honestly feel he'd drop ANYTHING for her, and the sad thing is...I don't think he'd do the same for me. He swears he would - but sometimes I just don't know. :(

So? If someone's actions are not congruent to their words, then you go by their actions.

Do you have any advice?!?? I feel this is such a sticky situation I am in! :(

It's only sticky because you make it so.