Cut My Nose To Spite My Face

My boyfriend has the habit of 'vanishing' and 'not calling back' and 'not being reachable' sometimes for a whole weekend.

That's perfectly normal behavior...for another girl's boyfriend.

I watched this for 3 weeks now and I restrained myself from breaking up or having a one night stand. But I could not.

So instead of cheating to get back at him, which only the dumbest ho-bag would do, you broke-up and started a course in learning how to communicate?! (Can't be.)

One night he said he would call me and he loves me. And when I called hours after we agreed to talk his friend picked up the phone and told me my boyfriend is 'busy' talking to a male friend and can not talk to me, not even say hello. At 11 pm on a saturday?

Hey, maybe your boyfriend was trying to talk his "friend" out of jumping off from the Empire State Building because the dude grew 36D boobs overnight. Didn't you think about that?

I snapped. I didnt say much. I hung up the phone and went out with one of my male friends. What do I need to say. I ended up having sex with my male friend.
It was nice. I do not regret it.

No, you need a conscience, and some mature brain-cells for that.

I broke up with my boyfriend the next day. I did not tell him that I cheated on him.

No, of course not, you don't actually want him to think that you are a two-time strumpet or anything.

He begged me to stay with him and had a good excuse for his behaviour.
I stayed with him.

And not just because you're a sucker for a good story either.

Next weekend; same game. So I slept with another friend of mine.

If you're going to make a career out of this, you might want to consider me as your manager. I wouldn't ask for a big cut either. Just 70% or so.

And now I realised that I am HURTING MYSELF in this relationship! I end up sleeping with man I do not want to sleep with just because my boyfriend hurts, rejects and neglects me all the time.

Tone down the self-awareness crap. If you did "get it" you wouldn't be writing here.

I need to end the relationship with my boyfriend. But it is almost like an addiction. Like a drug.

Oh yes, yes, ignore me, use me, treat me like dirt I am baby!

I know he keeps on coming back to me. And I keep on taking him back. But the burden of me cheating on him gets too much.

Am I supposed to feel sorry for you now? Just wondering.

I do not really have the strength to break up. I do not want another relationship of mine to fail. Even though it is not my fault.

Yes, I can see how being a compulsively cheating psycho-slut is someone else's fault.

I can not stand this guy anymore. I fear to talk to him or to see him. I feel guilt and pain at the same time.

Awww, wanna a (slightly used) tissue?

On the other hand I am still the one calling him and trying to 'make things work'.

Consistency is never the forté of the mentally ill mind.

Please help me!

Sure, just tell me where to shoot.