The Other Woman

I met my boyfriend at work, and we became friends, good friends. He can relate to me, he makes me understand things, he is always there for me no matter what he is my true best frined, I've been through things in my life, that he helped me through, I mean if it was not for him, my little girl would have not have had a christmas in 2003.

You sound perfect for each other. Knight in shining armor, damsel in distress... And the problem is?

The thing is, he's married,

Aaaaaaaaaaaah, he´s maaaaaaarried.

I asked him why he was talking to me if he was married, and he said that he got married because his younger brother got married, so he felt that he had to get married too.

And the logic of this is?

They have a house together, but he stays in one room and she stays in another room, on the other side of the house, he said its not a marriage, but its a name on a piece of paper.

Did you get that in writing?

I asked why he won't get a divorce and he said because they have a mortgage together.

Of course. There is always something.

I asked him how long have they been married, but he said he wasn't sure,

huh?

they don't talk at all, they don't go anywhere, he told me that he would feel more comfortable taking me out somewhere than she.

But of course he doesn´t...

I know about her, we (she, and I) work at the same job.

Have you talked to her and verified his story? Or do you just take everything he says as gospel.

I've tried letting him go, because I know that its not really ok to be with him, but in the back of my mind I feel like if they don't even communicate to one another and they live in the same house.

Then it must somehow make it ok... right?

Then why am I worried about it.

Becaue it´s not?

I don't want to let him go, and he has made it clear to me that he loves me and that He can't bear the thought of loosing me.

More than he can´t bear the thought of losing his house? Trust me, if push came to shove he´d drop you like a hot potato.

I don't know what to do, we have kept this a secret for 3 years.

Why? Why should his wife mind? Like he said they´re just roomates. Unless of course he... (gasp) lied.

I want to tell but I'm afraid of what people may say.

As you should. Would it come out, not only people would blame you and you´ll lose your job, you would find many unsuitable men knocking on your door, hoping to get a piece of free action.

Please Help me, I'm in a Forbidden love.

Oh how romantic. Barf.

Did I mention that Im 22 and he is 40.

Makes sence. Only the young ones and the really stupid ones would believe his story.

He´s 17 she´s 26

I have been talking to this guy...I am 26 and he's 17...

Oh, oh...

We have mutual friends....

What mutual friends could you possibly have with a 17 y.o.?

I am not sure what to do....

Grow up? Ask yourself why you feel the need to have such a young toy-boy? Get therapy?!

He has been to my house a couple of times and we almost slept together...

If you must I hope you´re using every conceivable form of protection...

Is it so wrong?....

Well, would you be proud to tell your family about it? If not, then it probably is.

Doese age really matter...

Uh... yes.

I like him and he likes me...he says he has no problem with my age and the age he is...

Of course he doesn´t have a problem. He´s too young to fully grasp the situation.

He says that age doese not matter to him...

I bet it matters to his parents.

We are not really looking for a relationship right now...

I know. It´s all about hot, filthy $ex with a minor...

He is very mature for his age...

...who has a bick c0ck.

You see on tv ppl dating older and younger...

So? People kill other people on TV too. Just because something is on TV doesn´t mean it´s ok.

But doese it really matter....

Yes, it matters, now stop it before somebody finds out about it and we have to read about it on national news.

Should I leave Bf for a better model?

Hi I've been in a relationship for a year an a half and I'm not happy.

Honesty is the first step.

I feel like I am being verbally and emotionally abused (we live together and he yells at me for everything: Money, chores, the fact that I haven't quit smoking etc.).

That´s not abuse honey, that´s parenting. Somebody hasn´t left home yet.

Well I recently started talikng to an old friend that I used to like but haven't talked to in a year and a half.

I see, you only have time for your buddies when you´re single... or unhappy.

He told me this whole time that we haven't talked he's been thinking of me and he wants to be with me.

A decent guy wouldn´t try to come between you and another guy. Something tells me he´s out for pu$$y.

I honestly do think that I would be happier with him than I am w/ current b/f but how do I know?

You can´t know. Have you questioned yourself about this need to only leave a relationship when you think you´re upgrading? Newsflash: You can be happy alone too.

I'm afraid that if I break up w/ current and start a new relationship w the other guy that I still won't be happy.

I´m afraid of that too. Because happiness is not found in situations or people, but you seem to think so.

I don't know wht to do and if I do break up w/ current how do I do it,

You just break up. Carefully, just in case he decides a dead girlfriend is better than an ex-girlfriend.

I don't want to hurt him.

I don´t get the reasoning of not wanting to "hurt" somebody who hurts you?

Thanks in advance for your advice

Don´t thank me, just take it.

Girlfriends Best Friend Is A Guy

To start off with i've been with my girlfriend for alittle over a year and a half now (...) I love her to death and can't imagine being away from her, however right now i am. You see she has these friends that she goes out with and one of them named tyson i really don't care much for.

Tyson? Mike Tyson?

She knows this but she goes anyway, used to be twice a week, then she dropped it down some, now its once a week or so.

Practically an old married couple...

I used to be affraid she was cheating on me with him, so i'd do the stupid things like check her phone and get really annoyed when she texts him.

Instead of actually talking with her and setting some boundaries...

I gave that up because i know that she wouldn't cheat on me,

How do you know this? Because she told you? Because Madam Mim´s crystal ball said so? Because you know her well enough to judge her character and morals?

but i still get jelous of her spending time with them.

Maybe you aren´t as sure after all...

She did tell me when we started this thing that most all her friends were guys.

This doesn´t have to be a red flag, but usually it can...

Well what got me in trouble was monday when while i was at work she said she was gonna go over and see a friend (...)I asked her to call me and let me know what was goin on so i would know how to plan my day(...)Well a few hours pass with no phone call so i tried calling her. It went straight to her voice mail wich meant that she was over at Tysons place.

Do not disturb huh?

I just had to be stupid and go find out, so i drive by his house and there sets her car.

Ta da!

Oh i'm sure she had gone to see her friend before she went there,

Not that your wonderful girlfriend would ever lie to you or anything...

but it was the fact that she usually doesn't come home till late when she goes out with Tyson and the other 2 (another 2?!) that made me really mad.

Oh, you didn´t mind her lying to you, but you did mind her being late for your sex session. That makes sence...

She knew i wanted to do something with her and she still went over there.

Sounds like he´s better than you in the sack...

I blew up, no i didn't go knock on the door or anything but i did call her phone and said some harse things. Come to find out she left his house about 30 minutes latter and was on her way to see me.

Uh, in what way does that change the fact that she lied to you about going to Tyson´s?

In short i screwed up and i'm not sure what i can do to fix things.WHAT DO I DO??????

Buy flowers. Buy chocolate. Buy condoms. Invite her over to the local swinger club with Tyson and the guys.

Hate Him, Love His Family

I have been with my boyfriend for over two and a half years. I knwo he is not the one. I knwo ti isn't going to work.

And the reason you´re still together is?...

His family is wonderful and i know he loves me.

A sufficient reason. *cough* I suppose.

We are heading intwo different directions and although he can be a good person he has certainly made his share of mistakes in the releationships. Mistakes we have worked through and now i wonder why.

Um, because his family is wonderful and you know he loves you?

It is not that i do not love him but it is coming to a poitn where it just isn't going to work.

Oh. You met someone who says he loves you more and has a new Porsch er, I mean he has an even nicer family and he demands that you shit or get off the pot.

Why can't i pull the trigger?

Because you´re co-dependent and believe that you´re a nobody unless you have somebody?

THere is always a reason my birthday (which eh has messed up in a big way for three years) his father's day. ALways an excuse to stay. I have unfourtantely take my bitterness to the extreme and cheated on him.

Ah. The guy with the Porsch.

I have not slept with anyoen else just kiss.

Of course.

And although they have been relatively minor infractions i should not be partaking.

Oral sex is sex.

Every time i say it is a mistake, and I manage to do it again.

I see you have a lot of self-control...

Not hundreds of time but enough,

Oh, oh...

I go out on the weekends and he doesn't like my freinds.

I wonder why.

HOw i do I gain the courage to just pull the trigger.

You don´t. Your type never does. You will marry him, have a few kids, continue to cheat on the weekends, but you´ll still be frustrated...

ANy possibility his family and he won't hate me?

Who knows, once the dust settles you guys might become friends again. It´s a risk you have to take if you want to grow a spine.

He has ben a part of my life for almost three years and i know he will write me off when i leave.

Comes with the turf.

Your Cheating Hitting Heart

My fiance of 7 months has just told me he had cheated on me with his ex girlfriend.

I´d say that´s the least of your troubles right now.

Last weekend we "broke up" because he has some anger issues and hit me.

Why the quotation marks. Did you or didn´t you break up? (And if you didn´t, why not?)

I told him to leave my house and we got back together after a few days.

That must have been some crash course on anger management... Or is hitting not a deal breaker for you?

Last night he stayed out all night and I didn't know where he was. He came home and finially confessed that he was with the ex and had slept with her, not just last night, but last weekend when I "put him out" also. He told me he had to tell me the truth because he can't live a lie and loved me sooo much!

And he slept with her because he loves you sooo much too?

This OW has been a thorn in our relationship from the start, he just can't seem to let her go no matter how much he says he wants me and loves me now, she always seems to pop up in the picture too.

Because she gives good head?

I have even talked to her and she told me how my Fiance is such a dog and cheated on her so many times and she was done with him.

You didn´t hear correctly, she said that she was still done by him.

She even slept with his best friend to hurt him while he was with me, but he still chose to sleep with her again after that recently!

Because he´s... a dog?

He says he did it to hurt me like I hurt him by putting him out, but he hit me and I was truely scared!

But alas only temporarily.

What do I do?

Kick his ass to the curb? Get tested for STD´s?

I want to really believe him because he is so convincing and believable,

And of course a convincing act equals fact...

but at the same time i really don't know if he will really stop!

Whatever gave you that idea?!

am I just being a stupid idiot!

Uh, yes.

Love sometimes clouds the true view,

No, not love, just a skyscraper called stupidity.

I do love him and think he really loves me

What´s love got to do, got to do, got to do with it?

and maybe he has changed, advice,!

And maybe one day Elton John will become straight.